one lazy sunday

the weather was so overcast and gray today that i had no choice but to just bum around the house. lalo na pa when it started raining. ahhh, such a perfect day to do---absolutely nothing. today's weather was just so conducive to being lazy that even though i had some important things to do today i just couldn't find the willpower to go out of the house. except when i went to the church to hear mass, hindi na ako lumabas ng bahay. i just cuddled on the couch and read a book and sleep. para akong lola but who cares?! masarap kaya magbasa when it's raining outside. i don't know what it is with the rainy weather that just makes people so lethargic. or maybe i'm just making excuses for myself dahil tamad lang talaga ako. hehe. but it was nice to just hang out at the house and not to have to worry about being late to work and all that stuff. there's going to be more than enough time for me to think about all my worries and problems tomorrow.

my mind is always preoccupied with things to do, problems to be resolved and worries that never seem to run out that sometimes i just want to scream. kaya i thank god for days like this when i am given a timeout to just not think at all. to not worry about my financial situation, my family's condition sa pinas, my job and my boss from hell, my......life. of how i seem to be living but not really LIVING at all. i mean, i have a job and i earn moeny and i am able to help out my family now but i still feel as lost and aimless as i did when i was younger. the sad thing is, i am NOT young naymore and that by this time i should have some kind of idea of how i want my life to be. but no. hoenstly, i might say that i want to go back to school and earn my masters and all that shit but after other than that i haven't a clue as to what to do with my life. maybe i'm jujst overthinking things. who was even the person who perpetuated the idea that you should have a plan for your life. why can't you just live your life one day at a time? take things as they come? just...live for the sake of living. but come to think of it, there are people out there who live just like that. with no worries about what's going to happen to them tomorrow. who just take everything in a stride. maybe the thing is, i am not one of them. i just can't be so out of control of my life and leave everything to god or to chance or to fate or to whoever decides these kind of things. maybe that's my probelm. hay ewan! sometimes my thoughts just get so tangled up in my head i don't make sense, even to myself so am stopping now with my aimless thoughts and ramblings.

for now, i am simply going to content myself to doing nothing and enjoying every last minute of it.

POTTER MANIA

when the first two harry potter books came out i was already in highschool and i didn't really care much about it. i didn't understand what the big fuss was all about since it was a children's book. i thought it would be too immature and childish for me. so for the longest time i refused to read any of the harry potter books. and then, i don't even know why exactly, i decided to give it a chance. i think by that time i was in college already and lo and behold- i LOVED it! harry potter and his gang captured my imagination. i especially liked ron and his entire family, the weasleys. they were just so endearing and funny without even trying. after reading the first book, wala na, i was hooked.

so just imagine how much i looked forward to the final book. i mean, this was it. the end. the book that would hopefully answer all the questions that had been mounting since the first book started. sa sobrang pagka-excited ako, like the true nerd that i am, i got my book at 1245 am of july 21. dapat 12 midnight kaya lang i watched the harry potter movie muna kaya na-late na ako. hahaha. friday night was potter-overdose. first, the movie and then the book. at kahit na umaga na and i was sleepy i just had to start reading it. i couldn't wait. i only stopped reading when i could barely understand what i was reading kasi sobrang antok na antok na ako. i wanted to just stay home and read the book the whole saturday pero i was going to watch the MYMP concert dito sa amin kaya i had to stop (totally out of topic but since na-mention ko na din, ang galing ni juris kumanta! ang ganda pa niya! super petite niya! parang 1/4 ko lng siya, which is very depressing on my part). anyways, going back to the topic, i couldn't resist myself and i brought the book with me. who cared if i looked like a nerd?! totoo naman yun eh. hehehe. surprisingly, i wasn't the only one who had the same idea. there were maybe 4 or 5 people there who had their books with them too. you might be wondering how i could actually count the people who had their books with them. well kasi hindi naman super laking auditorium yung concert venue. it was in a small pinoy resto lang.


i finally finished the book on sunday. actually monday na kasi it was past 12 midnight na. i couldn't put down the book kasi sobrang ganda niya. i was so caught up with the book para akong tanga kasi i was crying and laughing while reading the book. all throughout the book i was doing a body count of everyone who was dying kasi i wanted to make sure how many were dead just to confirm all the rumors na 6 daw or 7 daw yung mamamatay. i could see the whole book in my mind like it was a movie. grabe! aaahhhh! all i can say is once the movie version of this book comes out, it is going to be phenomenal! it really is the perfect ending to the whole harry potter saga. it answered all the questions that i had and explained everything so clearly. sobrang gandang closure nung book. sobrang emotionally involved ako to the whole story that feeling ko din j.k. rowling gave me closure too. everytime somebody died, i cried for them. everytime harry succeeded feeling ko din i overcame a big hurdle. i know it sounds kind of crazy pero that's just the way i am when i read a book or watch a movie. i just can't help it. sobrang galing nung twist sa ending with snape. i know, i know, that's only detail that i will talk about here. i'll stop writing na kasi i might divulge something more from the book. i might not be a die-hard fan of harry potter in the sense that as much as i love harry potter i draw the line with dressing up as a witch (even for me, OA na yun), but i can really say that harry potter was really a big part of my life and now that it's all over parang feeling ko there's a void that needs to be filled. i know it sounds so melodramatic pero i have a feeling that i'm not the only one who feels this way. harry potter will be missed, i'm sure.

i am tired

whenever people find out that i work in a daycare they always have the same reaction "i don't know how you do it!". i kid you not that is exactly what they say everytime. when i hear this, all i can do is smile because honestly i really don't have a clue how i do it either. working with kids more than 8 hours a day, 5 days a week is EXTREMELY tiring and can be surprisingly frustrating at times. seriously, i don't get paid enough to do what i do. i am a mother and teacher to all these kids at the same time and it really takes a lot out of me. more than that, sobrang big responsibility nung job that when i think about it it's kinda scary. i mean, anything i do or say can greatly affect these kids' lives. seriously, i don't want my kids to grow up and say that their preschool teacher (me) traumatized them or something.

i didn't set out to be a teacher. i don't even think that i wanted to be a teacher when i was a kid. i always wanted to be a doctor and i really thought that that would be what i would end up to be. pero because of reasons that i don't even want to think about, that didn't happen and i ended up here- in a foreign country, molding young minds (baduy ko, man!). funny how things work out sometimes. oh well. siguro god has plans for me that i just can't quite figure out yet. pero i am so thankful that i'm here right now. i know that me being here is a blessing kaya i am making the most of the time i have here. right now i'm not sure if i'm meant to be here or not but since i don't know yet, i'm just going to work my butt off in my work and hope that everything works out. even if that means i always have to go home feeling i need to pass out everyday.

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when i started out writing this blog i just felt so tired with work pero now i feel kinda (as in kinda lang ha) compensated for all the work i put kasi i got EMPLOYEE OF THE MONTH. woohoo! the prizes? well, a month's worth of parking space na may sign saying employee of the month and a hundred bucks tax-free. it's not much pero pwede na rin. =)

TRANSFORMERS in one word

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i can't even think of one word to describe it. it's that ..... ha! still can't describe it. basta, you have to watch it and see for yourself what i'm talking (or more accurately, not talking) about!

clueless me

i never really thought what happens next after i got a car. i was just so happy to be driving around and not having to commute that it didn't occur to me that i would have to actually take care of it. i mean, i'm good with keeping my car clean- the inside of the car anyway. never ko pa napa-car wash yung kotse since i got last april. but i'm pretty good in vacuuming it and making sure there's no stray trash in it and stuff like that. but i never realized that i would have to be the one to actually maintain the whole thing. crap! ang mahal pala mag-maintain ng car. tapos my car pa is super old na so madami na talaga dapat ayusin.

just last week, i went out of the house to go to work and saw that one of my back (ay, rear pala ang correct term) tires was almost out of air. medyo nag-panic ako. for a minute there i didn't know what to do. buti nlng it lasted for maybe just 5 seconds and i figured out what to do. i didn't change the tire because like a typical helpless girl i don't know how to change a tire plus wala naman akong spare. i did the next best thing (in my opinion anyway), i went to the gas station and put air in my tire. never mind that i'd never had to put air in a tire before kasi sa pinas may mga gas boys that would do it for me. i figured out what to do after about 10 minutes of looking stupidly at my tire and the air hose. i don't know if may butas na yung tire ko or what but i didn't have time to check and i just drove it to work. thank god malapit lang yung work ko kundi patay na. i wouldn't have been able to report for work at all. i've now replaced 2 tires kasi yun pa lang ang kaya ng budget ko. next payday na yung 2 other tires. aside from that i have to buy new wiper blades. aba! i never knew wiper blades were expensive. one wiper blade costs more than 25 bucks. ano ba yan?! a pair would be 5o+ bucks!! grabe na toh!

aside from that, i have to get the engine fixed kasi it just makes weird squeaking sounds at odd moments. nakakahiya nga when i drive off from the parking lot at school, super rinig na rinig ng mga parents when they're there. ang dami pang mga kailangan ayusin kasi i have to get it registered before october sa MVA. grabe talaga, nakaka-overwhelm!

hay..i know i'm complaining but don't get me wrong, i love my car. i just wish it wasn't such a hassle and an expensive one at that.