just a thought

i just found out from my sister that i person i used to know really well was getting married and i just couldn't help myself from thinking about it and dwelling on the news a little bit. this person (who shall remain nameless, although if you knew/know me, you probably have an idea who he is. o ha, may clue na kayo) was a huge and important part of my past. there was a time i considered him my world although i never though of it that way when we were together. it's been so long and i'm fine now and i've moved on and we both have separate lives but still this news gave me a pause. i don't feel hurt or pain because of the news. sa totoo lang, good for him. it's just that i feel (for the lack of a better word) weird about it. maybe because he used to be with me and for a time i thought we would be together forever. i'm not bothered by the fact that he's getting married i just am weirded out by it. does that make sense? should i be bothered that i'm affected. sigh. weird lang talaga. tumatanda na tlaga ako. isipin mo somebody i used to love is getting married na?!


sigh.


i feel kind of sad for myself kasi i'm still by myself while he's getting married already. oh well. that's life. dadating din naman yung para sa akin. hindi pa lang talaga ngayon.


if you (you-who-shall-remain-nameless) ever do stumble upon this, i wish you well. seriously. from the bottom of my heart.

pissed off

today- was not a good day. i got the new work shifts that we're having for the fall semester and i was surprised to find out that i got bumped to a later shift. you see, right now i have the 700 am-430 pm shift and i love it. i get to go home early and do other things that i don't have enough time to do at work, like write lesson plans and prepare activities for the kids. ayoko ng late shift kasi the time just seems to drag on during the afternoon kasi napakatagal sunduin nung mga kids ko tapos whenever one kid gets picked up, another kid from another class gets bumped up to my room. parang tapunan ng mga late sunduin yung room ko. hay nako. nakakabaliw when they get picked up late kasi sobrang restless na nila because they know their parents are coming and they're just off the hook. kaya ayoko ng late shift. tapos today, without any warning at all, the management suddenly changed my shift. now, 900 am- 630 pm na ako. nakakainis!!! more than the fact that i got a later shift (i know, medyo mababaw lang yun) i am pissed off kasi they didn't have the consideration- the decency, to talk to me about it. lead teachers are supposed to have the first priority when it comes to work shifts pero ano toh???!!! just because hindi ko ka-close yung mga nasa management they just decided to do things without telling me. paano kaya kung hindi ako pwede ng 9oo-630?! what if i just decided to screw them over??!! it pisses me off so much that they think i'm such a pushover that will just agree to everything that they say. this one of those times that i really feel na hindi equal yung treatment sa akin compared to the other employees just because sponsored ako ni mazhar. akala niya talaga ok lang kahit ano ok sa akin kasi i had no right to complain dahil he sponsored me. bad trip kasi everything na lang utang na loob ko sa kanya. sigh. i'm pissed off. hindi ba obvious?!