feeling nostalgic

i was checking my email today and i opened one from francis (who was a highschool classmate). anyways, it was a link to youtube of a uaap/dlsu game. it was funny because there was this one guy all dressed in red on the other's team side cheering for la salle. hahahaha. sana hindi siya nabugbog or something after the game. so after watching it, i started to check out other dlsu videos and after watching a couple of them i couldn't stop myself from feeling nostalgic. and i didn't even go to dlsu! what's up with that?! it's just that as far as i can remember, i have always been a dlsu fan. as in i loved their basketball team. highschool pa lang ako i would be watching their games na, i'm not really sure what drew me to their team but i was hooked and there was nothing i could do about it. kahit na when i went to college and went to UP, basta sa UAAP, dlsu ako kampi. it didn;t help that the UP men's basketball team sucked, big time. tapos mga classmate ko pa sila in my classes and it didn't really help their image much in my book kasi they weren't that good in classes either.

aside from feeling nostalgic, i felt lonely. i miss pinas. i miss home. even though i've been here a total of almost 2 years, pinas pa din is my home. i still want to go back. i still don't see myself living here forever. i don't know. maybe it's just for now kasi i don't get to go out very much and hang out and stuff but it just doesn't feel home here. i miss my family, my friends, hanging out at the house until the wee hours of morning. talking to people on the phone over nothing and everything. i miss the feeling of security (i'm not even sure it's security that i feel, it's...something) that i have when i'm there that i don't feel here.

i hate to sound ungrateful of all the things that i have here in the US. i'm not. i don't hate my life here. how could i? i have a job. i have my own car. i get to go to places i've never been to. i can go shopping when i want to. i have people here that have made me part of their family. i am not lacking in anything come to think of it. there's just this feeling that's missing. i don't know if i'm making sense. i'm probably not but that's how i feel now.

maybe it will change in time. maybe it's just a phase i'm going through right now. maybe.

who would have ever thought that a simple dlsu youtube video would make me feel all this?! sigh.